Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
