Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
