Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
