There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
