I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
