Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
