drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
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That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
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Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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