Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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