Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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