What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
