Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
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we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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