for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
