Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She told me I should be a condom model.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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