I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
operation harelip BJ is a go
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
