1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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