so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
