Your dad touched me again.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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