We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
