yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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