those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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