I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
