i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.