there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you will always have a special place in my vag
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.