Sry I called you an 8
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
