But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize