so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?