I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
