he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
