Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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