Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he fucked my hip out of place.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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