omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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