he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
only you would photoshop your dick
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
whose parrot is this?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
