how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
