oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
