I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Randomize
