yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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