Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
