I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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