I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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