Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
