I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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