i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize