if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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