Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
