Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she told me i tasted like america
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
