everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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