Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize