dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
