I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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