Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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