So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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