She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
