My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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