I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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