it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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