Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
