Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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