I'm eating all of the evidence.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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