hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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