we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize